Today’s my birthday. And not just any birthday. You see, today I turn 40.
So today’s blog post is dedicated to a little self-reflection.
More than anything today, I feel really, really grateful. I have a successful business, a great kid, and someone special, with whom I just spent two weeks traipsing around Greece (fodder for future blog posts, for sure!). I just bought a newer car, I have food in the fridge, and am able to pay all my bills. In other words, I’m in a really good place right now.
This really good place feels extra good because the last two years have been the darkest time of my life. I won’t bother with those details, but let’s just say when it rains, it pours. But over the last six months or so, I am finally feeling like I am through the woods and into the light, and coming, truly, into my own.
When I reflect on my twenties and thirties, I see some pretty clear patterns. My twenties were all about living my life in the way that other people wanted me to. My thirties were all about breaking free of those expectations. I’m still working on it–a lifetime of living a certain way is certainly not going to change over night–but I’m getting better.
As I turn 40, it occurs to me that I’m not actually learning too many new things these days. I am, however, re-learning things constantly. And a big one that keeps coming up for me is around fear, and keeping my life small. I’m one of those people that hates to be disappointed, so sometimes I keep my expectations low or I create excuses to explain why I can’t do something. Going to Greece taught me, again, that I am very capable, and when I put my mind to do something, I will figure it out. To borrow a phrase, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. And in the end, it all works out. So, as my friend Tanja Dixon-Warren says, say yes, then figure out how to make it happen.
Let that be my motto for the next 40 years and beyond.
Thank you for indulging me. It’s the best present ever. Except maybe chocolate.
