A couple of months back, my friend Steve, with whom I am in a small business support group, wrote a guest post on my blog about The Power of Saying No. I decided that my new year’s resolution was going to be to say No more, because I felt like I was overextending myself and I needed more time to concentrate on my business.
It’s not going very well.
Saying No to people just goes against my nature. And I don’t think it’s because I want to be liked. I’m okay with people not liking me, and have made peace with the fact that not everyone is going to, and I won’t see eye-to-eye with everyone on everything.
For me, it’s about two magical words: what if. The fear of shutting the door on something that could potentially be really amazing. Or could lead to other things. What if I say no to something, and it ends up being a really cool opportunity for me?
I know. It’s depression mentality. The reason why our parents told us to clean their plates when we were kids was because they grew up in an era of scarcity, and to waste anything was a sin because you were never sure where your next decent meal would come from.
Saying no goes against my personality. I like to explore new things. I like new challenges. Maybe I have ADD. Hey! Look! Something shiny!
This is a big challenge for me, and maybe the answer is to not try to change my personality, but to rather make peace with my shortcomings, and quietly and slowly experiment with new ways of doing things and see where that leads.
What do you think? Do you love to say the word No as much as any 2-year-old? Or is there another way to be in the world?